Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I feel so sad, theres this sorrow in my heart I can't get rid of...?

So I'm a 14 year old girl and... it all started almost 2 years ago when I came to the United States to live... And everything was fine between me and my parents. im the only child and im very lonely... I mean I feel like I have nobody else to count with.. My father gets mad for everything when he gets home from work, my mom camplains about everything, about me not taking the dogs out, about the kitchen that is not clean, about not having the shoes she like ! My parents fight a lot ! And its like I feel that I have nothing else to do but feel unhappy. I mean imagine getting up in the morning, my father is sleeping so I just say bye, my mom takes me to school, when I go home from school my mom complains, when my dad comes from work my mom complains even more and they just end fighting again. I am a little sensitive too... For me, I feel like my parents dont give me love, I mean they dont hug me, or they dont say hey, i love you at night, i try to do it with the will theyll say something back ! Sometimes... But since theyre doing something else like watching TV they dont seem to mean it. Another thing is I come from school willing to tell my mom and my dad everything I learned or something that happened but I just get a "Not now, cant you see im doing something ?" from my dad and my mom would just listen. I cant seem to change my face to a happy smile, a lot of people tell me I seem unhappy... I actually have never had a childhood like other kids. Plus I cant remembrr the day that my mom or dad told me "Im proud of you" because theres never been a day like that. I get them everything , I did this awesome portrait of my mom without her knowing for her b-day ( because i draw really good ) and what did i get? " ohh haha, thank youu ! " OMG! Where is the "Thanks. Im so proud f you, I love you" way of speaking ? Why is this happebing to me? Also my dad said the other day that he didnt expect to have a daughter like me... I wasnt what he wanted as a daughter. i hear that from his mouth then I came to my room to cry, I really don know what to do, I dont want to end up with a messed up life, peoplethinking im weird and inhappy for my life. Please help...

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